透過36個問題，開始一場戀愛

To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

這是一篇很有趣的心理文章，來自 NT Times，原標題如上，稍做節譯。 試試下面介紹的 36 個問題 www.nytimes.com/36q 。

20 年前心理學家  Arthur Aron 在他的實驗室成功使兩個陌生人墜入愛河。
實驗是：一對異性戀男女由不同的門進入實驗室，面對面坐下回答一些越來越私人的問題。然後靜靜的凝視對方的雙眼四分鐘。六個月後，他們結婚了。

假設只要找到一些共通性，你可以和任何人談戀愛，如果是這樣，你如何選擇那個人？

我們都有一些句子，對陌生人或認識的人描述自己，但這些問題讓你遠不只如此。他是更深的挖掘和分享。
凝視更是一件奇特的事。當然眼睛是一個人的靈魂之窗，但那不只是妳看著一個人，而是看著一個也認真看著你的人。

多數時候我們以為「愛」是某種降臨在我們身上的東西，我們陷入、我們心動。
但這個實驗讓愛成為一個行動，是建立兩人之間共同的感受與連結。

Set I 
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II 
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III 
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.